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| Jerusalem |
Growing up in a rather secular interfaith household meant that I was rarity in my friend group, and I would assume school, who celebrated "Christmakah." The holiday season meant a Christmas tree in the living room bay window with a menorah on the window sill, opening one present on Christmas Eve and the rest on Christmas morning, maybe one or two Hanukah presents from aunts or my only cousin on that side, cookies, and books about both traditions that were read only during the holidays.
I had a sense of God, knew that Christians believe Jesus was the messiah and Jews do not, the surface level meaning of both holidays, but Christmas felt more comfortable. I'm sure this was due in no small part to the WASP (white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant) area I grew up in and the Christian-normative society of the South and U.S. in general. I went along to get along to a degree. While I was comfortable, it didn't feel complete.
"I'm both but neither" as I like to say.
Having one foot in each religion made me feel connected to both but an imposter in both. I didn't feel fully Jewish because I had never been to synagogue, never had a bat mitzvah, or any of the other various benchmarks but I did have a familial and cultural connection through my Jewish grandparents and Prussian ancestors. I didn't feel fully Christian because I rarely went to church, never (and still don't) bought into the dichotomy of heaven and hell- especially given the religious exclusivity some denominations rely on would mean half my family is out- but, maybe by my name you would have guessed, I have a strong Celtic lineage of Catholics and Protestants.
Our interfaith trip to Israel deepened those feelings... in the best way possible. Now, as a practicing Christian who is still culturally tied to Judaism, I have seen the Holy Land where Jewish history is ever present, where a famous Jew named Jesus would have walked among the crowds and started his ministry, and where he would ultimately be crucified. Every day brought a new sacred location of one or both faiths and therefore a lesson on Biblical history that I missed in my unchurched childhood. Through it all each location resonated, stirred up emotions, gave me pause, and connected me to two faiths.
With new found confidence I'm incredibly proud of my interfaith background. The only person holding me to standards of feeling fully in one faith or another is me. That's changed. Not only am I straddling both, I am now sure that straddling both is where I want to be, and more importantly, God wants me. I can build bridges, make meaningful connections in both communities, continue to learn about both and become a well rounded person, and be wholly ME. Its with great excitement and eagerness that I look to the future of being both, leaving out the neither.
A trip to the Holy Land gave way to a whole Kathleen.
